Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize