Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
