Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
