What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
