My first STD was from a foam party
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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