I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
