Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
we should paint friendship bongs
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