I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
