I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize