i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
