Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
