the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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