Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I cockslap morals
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it