Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?

(1-716): View more from New York

I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her

(716): View more from New York

Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild

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(716): So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go? (1-716): I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her (716): Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild http://tfl.nu/mosz

Replies (3) Good night (719) Bad night (702)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.

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(612): Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/coa8

Replies (17) Good night (4457) Bad night (1382)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.

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(402): Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job. http://tfl.nu/cd1b

Replies (15) Good night (2511) Bad night (1050)
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(317): View more from Indiana

Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.

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(317): Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street. http://tfl.nu/q42w

Replies (14) Good night (2549) Bad night (1171)
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(847): View more from Illinois

couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.

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(847): couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner. http://tfl.nu/srex

Replies (6) Good night (2426) Bad night (748)
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(917): View more from New York City

He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.

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(917): He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat. http://tfl.nu/cst7

Replies (6) Good night (1409) Bad night (553)
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(540): View more from Virginia

my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.

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(540): my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened. http://tfl.nu/bhgb

Replies (47) Good night (1991) Bad night (625)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time

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(816): Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time http://tfl.nu/d70u

Replies (8) Good night (1294) Bad night (435)
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(661): View more from California

I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.

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(661): I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love. http://tfl.nu/wt93

Replies (8) Good night (922) Bad night (630)
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(925): View more from California

I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .

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(925): I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER . http://tfl.nu/8mid

Replies (8) Good night (467) Bad night (401)
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(415): View more from California

Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.

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(415): Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring. http://tfl.nu/atx5

Replies (1) Good night (434) Bad night (348)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel

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(603): I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel http://tfl.nu/5thv

Replies (5) Good night (603) Bad night (248)
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(817): View more from Texas

Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?

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(817): Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night? http://tfl.nu/hlmk

Replies (5) Good night (710) Bad night (226)
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(480): View more from Arizona

strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor

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(480): strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor http://tfl.nu/6d1i

Replies (4) Good night (254) Bad night (750)
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(818): View more from California

The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.

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(818): The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married. http://tfl.nu/19r4

Replies (2) Good night (1117) Bad night (221)

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