who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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