can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday