he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i may or may not be watching the land before time
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
These 17 People Made Horrible Decisions That Ruined Their Lives
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
