I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry