I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
