Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
