The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
