I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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