it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
