I want to have your abortion
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
