Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
porn star boner night. come get it.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
