The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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