my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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