So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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