Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
