Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
