Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
