Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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