3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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