thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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