At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Houston, we have a squirter
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
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