found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
