I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I look better un-naked...
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
