I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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