the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
