he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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