she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
How naked do you want me to be?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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