Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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