The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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