is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
