Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
so much tequila, so little girl.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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