just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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