:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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