Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
