Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
