doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
