They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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