On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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