Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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