no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize