She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
