woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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