Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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