it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
