Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
