OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
false alarm. still invincible.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
