dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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