This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize