Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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