I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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