I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
