I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I don't think brook has ever known best
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
