i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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