Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
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It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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