She's JV to your varsity
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
