4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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